Christmas time!!!!

Wow what a crazy month this has been. Not only did i have everything all set up and ready for Christmas on December 2nd but then we decided to suddenly pick up and move to Springville.... I was telling myself, "This wont be so bad i don't have that much stuff to move, how hard could it be?" HAHAH wow well let me tell you, having your husband work at RC Willey where he has access to great deals on TVs and Couches and beds an all that fun stuff you collect a TON of stuff in just over a year and a half!

After a week of packing and moving and getting all settled in we are finally in our "home" because now that everything is unpacked it really feels like home. its great!!

While unfortunately i will not be celebrating an announcement of pregnancy this month i will be excited to announce that for an early birthday present Trav bought me the cutest KITTY!!! she is adorable, she is an orange tabby, with gorgeous green eyes!! i love her so much... sadly she is still without a name... nothing is fitting her just right so we are still on the look out for one, any suggestions would be appreciated :)

Being in this new place is great! Me and Trav and been wanting a change of scenery and what do you know it came for FREE!!!

I haven't gotten many pictures of the place yet but once i clean a little more then ill take pics and post them :) for now i just have some of the outside of the house, a few Christmas crafts i did with the help of Travis' mom, and my cute little nameless kitty!!! so here you are with some fun pics.

The Naughty and Nice blocks that we made... they were so much fun

This one isnt all the way finished, its the North Pole, where you can hang your stockings if you dont have a fireplace... i havent made the North Pole sign yet.

This is our cute little Christmas tree!! since we werent able to cut one down this year we got this at Wal-Mart

My cute little kitty.... she has the prettiest fur! She has spots like a leopard on her sides and then stripes on her legs and tail. and she has long pointy ears and the cutest big eyes

She is still really little so its hard to get a got face shot of her, she doesnt sit still for very long!

This is the front of the house

the driveway is the devil with snow and ice...

This is the backyard, (before all the snow came, we have TONZ OF IT!!) the backyard is beautiful we have a mountain in it!!

This is our side entrance since we live in the basement!

so ya, new pictures of the inside soon to come!

Merry Christmas everyone!!

MOVING!!!!

Yes its really true, we are really moving!
Trav's parents are moving into a house in Springville that has a basement apartment with separate entrance and everything!!!
The apartment is 3 bedroom, 1 bath and they asked us to live there for FREE!!!!
Since Trav's dad isnt around all the time my father-in-law wants someone to be there in case of any accidents for his grandpa, who lives with them.
This is such a great opportunity for us, we have our on private little apartment but are also close by if we want to visit family.
Plus the no rent thing is an amazing blessing, it will help us so much to get Trav through school and also to prepare us even more for a baby, when the time finally comes. We are so excited and are going to start moving in Friday/Saturday, hopefully.
An awesome thing about this house, is the backyard is a mountain.... free to roam. its so cool i will post pictures soon.

Half an update...

Well i went and got the test (Hysterosalpingogram.. yeah say that 5 times fast) done yesterday and let me just say it was nothing like i thought it would be.... As the nurse was explaining to me what was going to be going on i just stared at her and was thinking really?? hahah. it honestly wasn't so bad, it just wasn't what i was expecting.... and it hurt... oh did it hurt.... not to be graphic or crude or anything but you know the little metal spread they use when you go to get a premarital exam? yeah this thing was twice as big and after it was in he cranked the thing wide open.... it was like being dilated to a 5 i swear!!! it hurt and after he inserted the tube for the dye... he pulled out the metal spread and when he did that, he yanked out the tube.... so he had to go in and do it AGAIN!!!! :( ouch

After everything was in and good, he took the x-ray and showed me my uterus and the tube... it was really cool to see this big dark puddle of fluid being sucked up into a tube and then spill back out again... yes that means that my one and only tube is in fact OPEN. Which makes the thought pop into my head, " then why am i not getting pregnant? what else is wrong?"

After we did the X-Ray and saw the tube was open the Radiologist left and the nurse told me i could go clean up, she also warned me that i might have some menstrual cramping, hahah might?? holy Hannah i had such bad cramps after i left the hospital i felt like i was going to vomit!!! they hurt so bad! Plus i had to be to work in an hour after leaving the hospital, and while at work i had a small fever... it was not fun, but with the help of some extra strength Tylenol i was as good as new by the end of the night.

Now i am waiting patiently for my OB/GYN to call me back and tell me what the next step is.

It feels great finally doing something about this no baby nonsense. I just hope i don't have to wait another year or even 6 months. But i am hopeful, very hopeful :) Thanks for all the support, ill let you know what my doctor has planned for us next!

The last one....

I am now the last one of all the people i knew struggling with infertility problems to be pregnant.... and it sucks! To be the last one, to feel all alone, is not the best feeling in the world. Don't get me wrong i am so SO happy and thrilled for those who struggled and can finally take a breath and enjoy the sunshine after their tough storm. Congrats to everyone who was struggling and is now pregnant! i envy you!!! I really do... i want to be throwing my guts up, i wanna be stuck in bed feeling like crap for 9 months if it means i get to be pregnant.... i want it that bad. It will be a year on Jan 13 that i lost the baby.... and i cant believe its been that long and still no luck. I called yesterday to my OB/GYN and scheduled an appointment at the hospital to get that test done on Wednesday morning. The one where they go in and fill the tubes ( or tube in my case) with a florescent colored fluid and take an ultra sound to see and made sure that my fallopian tube is open, and not shut( at least i think that's what they do, I'm not quite sure on the details yet, i just know its a step closer to a baby!). Maybe after this test i will finally be able to figure out the delay. Almost one year since the miscarriage, and almost a year and a half since we started trying to expand our family. Will the pain ever end? will i finally catch a break? This is my life right now and I'm not wasting it by sitting around being sorry for myself because I'm not pregnant, in no way am i doing that, it just feels nice to write my feelings and frustrations out, so that maybe anyone else going through the same thing doesn't feel alone, i know i found a lot of you that had some of the same struggles i did... and lucky you, all that i know of you are now expecting babies :) I am desperately hoping to someday soon join you girls! So good luck ladies i wish you all the best and am excited to hear about your progress in your pregnancies!! I'll keep updated on what i find out tomorrow from the test.

Ps. i changed my blog backround again... what do you think? is it a keeper? :)

Just another post

To start off, let me just say that i love my family!! All of them! Thanksgiving was great, it was hosted by my grandpa and grandma de Hoyos this year because my moms kitchen is currently in construction.... its crazy. Thanksgiving morning we started up the morning for our yearly tradition, cutting down our Christmas tree on thanksgiving and bringing it home.... well this year thats not really how it played out. There was so much snow up in the mountains that Trav and i got stuck in the snow, even with the four wheel drive and dragging a trailer to kinda help us out the sun was out to get us and we drove right into a big pile of snow off the side of the road... haha no worries we had plenty of big strong men there to help us out. After we finally got the car out and made a nice snow packed parking space we just got out and played around on the snowmobile Trav had borrowed from his dad and played around on that. My brother and his brother-in-law had brought their snowboards and my parents brought sleds. The temp. that morning up in the mountains was -13 degrees.... it was FREEZING and going fast on that snowmobile didnt make it any warmer. But man what a blast it was riding on that thing! There was a road going up by where we parked so we would use the snowmobile to drag sledders or snowboarders up and let the snowboarders off to ride down, while dragging the sledders down behind the snowmobile, it was lots of fun.

Trav pulling Dylan
Tori not ready to com out into the cold..
getting all bundled up

Aww mom and dad, (Nana and Pa)

Tori, me, and trav, the dork not looking at the camera, going on a snowmobile ride!! brrrr ( the helmet was amazing, i didnt feel ANY wind on my face!!)

Sadly because we got stuck so far down we didnt make it to any place close of having Christmas trees. :( So we left without one, and are trying to decide now if we want a fake one, or go back up and try to cut one down.... im opting for the fake tree....

Trav taking Marisa and Cassie on a ride while pulling Nick and Tc on snowboards behind

Marisa wearing the helmet haha

Cassie, Marisa, Travis

There are so many things that i am grateful for that to list them all on this post would take far too long. I am just so grateful for all that i have and all that i have learned and gone through in my almost 21 years of life... :) I have learned lots and keep learning everyday. I know that there is a special plan for all of us and that everything happens for a specific reason, and that we may never really know that reason.... oh how i wish that the right time would be my time.... i still long to get pregnant. And this month i am actually going to go to the hospital and finally have that test done on my tube to make sure its not closed off... then hopefully we can progress in the direction of me having a baby.... i just cant wait for it to happen anymore, it almost been a year since the miscarriage and i dont wanna just sit back and wait any longer, i want that blessing of parenthood.

But as for right now i am grateful for how much time me and Travis get to share with each other, we have such a great relationship, and marriage because of how close we are and that comes with how much time we get to be with each other to enjoy one another and just have fun with life. And i am so very grateful to have him right beside me to go through all our struggles together. November is the month of being thankful and realizing what your thankful for, Travis was born in November, and i couldn't be thankful for anything more than Travis!! :D i love you so much babe!!!

On another note, i am very happy to be decorating and preparing for Christmas this year!!! However, i am NOT a fan of black Friday, or working on black Friday.... i surely do not like the big crazy crowds, its not worth it to me.... i cant believe Christmas is almost here already!!! Also im turning 21 in December!!!!! how crazy is that!? :) i love it! Now, what do i get Travis for Christmas....? Does anyone have ANY good ideas on gifts for husbands.... they are so difficult to shop for. Or is that just me?

New Hair!!! :D

I finally got my hair colored today!!!! YAY!!!! My hair had started to fade to an orange color and i was not liking it, i like the dark hair.

So today Trav was going to UVU to work out some things with school and i had my lovely mother color my hair for me! And i L.O.V.E the way it turned out!!! :) i chose a medium brown and mixed it with a color called black cherry!! The black cherry is a black color with the tint of purplish red to it, put it together and what do you get, bibbity bobbity boo... jk i think it turned out great! Anyways we had to hurry and do that this morning cuz i had to be to work at 12 today, so i drop trav off at work and headed to hobby lobby, well today is our freight day so when i walked in to see no boxes i was a little confused, as i went to clock in they were having a meeting with the manager. Here is what happened. Our trucks hadn't come due to some construction on I90 i think, that or it was closed down, and the truck wasn't going to get here until tonight, so they sent me home, saweet!! :) except for now my new fabulous hair is pinned up in a bun and i dont feel like taking the time to do it today, so i dont have any good pics of it, but i will post pictures of my hair down when i actually style it nice. haha

Its funny how dying your hair just makes you feel so good! Well i dunno about you but it sure does make me feel good!

Also, if you have not smelled the SJP NYC perfume it is to die for!!! In my opinion of course. i absolutely LOVE the stuff!!! So i am going to buy it tomorrow for my birthday! :) im so excited, it smells SOOOOO good!

before, with my orangish hair... this isnt a very good pic.

After, with my new color, this is a terrible pic for seeing the color i promise ill put a better one up later.

Also hair styles i miss, that i once had...

I miss my long long hair!!

I miss my awesome purple!!

Bad weather!

BBRRRRR on this cold rainy, windy, dreary day i am so very thankful for

-Warm soup

-Big Blankets

-Fuzzy socks

-A Cuddly warm husband

-Movies

-A roof over our heads to keep us dry and warm

-And string cheese and goldfish!! :)

I dont mind the weather we are having right now, because there isnt any actual snow, and im happy about that, give me freezing winds and cold showers as long as the snow holds off just a little longer :)

Trav came home the other day with a cold, :S you know what that means, yup, you got it, or actually i got it! :) ha i now have a cold. I thought for sure i was gunna win out and skip getting his cold i was taking vitamins, drinking emergen-C keeping bundled up and staying warm. But i guess when your husband drinks out of milk cartons and juice bottles when he is sick, there really isn't anything you can do, right!! His excuse and defence about that is "Sorry, I forgot i was sick!" ahah really!? Boys that's all i gotta say! Anyway I'm just glad its a little sniffle and nothing too bad, colds are the worst, so I'm just gunna tackle this thing while its young so it doesn't get any worse than the sniffles :) Stay healthy everyone

horray for a 4 day weekend!!!!

Man i am so happy that i get to have a 4 day weekend!!

i got the weekend off because Travis' brother is getting married Friday in Tooele. So it was a pretty good excuse for me to get Thursday Friday and Saturday off of work! :) not that i dont love work, but having 3 full days off with Trav will be so nice!! Work at the Hobby Lobby has been really good i like it alot! I love the girls that i work with too and management is great! I couldn't have asked for a better job for me at this time in my life than this one! :) I was lucky!

I was thinking that since its November and alot of people are doing the thankful blog challenge that i would just kinda randomly do it and write what is on my mind while im blogging that im thankful for!:) So for today i am thankful for,

-Mountain Dew

- Our jobs at RC Willey and Hobby Lobby

-Mambas

-Sweat pants

- Hot showers

-And of course Travis my love!! :D

-Cup Cakes

-Our King sized bed

As you might be able to tell i am hungry and tired :) so i think that after 10 hours at work today i am going to get a snack and go to bed :)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TRAVIS!!!

Yesterday was my amazing husbands 23rd birthday! i dunno why i was so excited for it but i was, i went out and bought streamers and balloons so i could decorate our living room for him, i even bought him a Birthday Boy pin from work! hahah just to embarrass him a little. :) Trav was supposed to work Thursday but he didnt feel like going in on his birthday and just used vacation time instead, which left me with NO TIME TO DECORATE! i had to think quick, so while he was sleeping that morning i got up early told him he couldn't get up till i came and got him and went and decorated our living room. hahah it was fun he tried to come out of the bedroom to go pee and i got mad at him cuz i didnt want him to see any of the decorations i was putting up, so he went back into the room and grabbed the ipod and started playing games on it, this is how i found him when i went to tell him he could go pee...

after that i had him put on his birthday boy pin and then i let him go downstairs :)

so after opening some of the little gifts i got him we went over to my moms house so she could give him his present from her and my dad, which was a rotating wall mount! he loved it he was so excited we went home and he put it up right away!!

:)

Then after he had put up his mount we went birthday shopping for a few bigger presents. So he could get a few things that he really wanted.

We went to Fanzz in the mall, ( he loves that store) and got him some jay hawk shorts and a Cincinnati Bangles shirt! he loves the bangles... he has just liked them as a kid and hasnt changed his team. Then after going to Fanzz we went to Finish line where he got his favorite shoes, Nike airs. They are the most comfy shoes ive ever worn, and trav loves them, he has a black pair and now we got him a blue pair of shoes. ahah silly boy.

After we shopped around for a while we went and visited my family again so trav could ask my little brother about some ipod stuff. After we left there we went to Ruby River for his birthday dinner!!!!!! YUM!!! i love that place it was so good!!!

I had a great night with Trav on his birthday and i sure hope that he did too! i love you babe, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! :)

long time!

Wow it really has been a long time since my last post. Oops, :) Work has been good, busy but good and the first paycheck was awesome!! :) with some of the extra money i went and got my nails done so i could feel pretty, my hands were so ugly with broken nails and just dry and yuck! so i went and got pretty nails put on!! i love them!!! i also have found a new obsession, those watch bracelets. My friend gave me one as a starter and i fell in love, and because i work at a store that has so many cute beads i got a bunch and have been making the bracelets for the watch. its so much fun, im learning and the ones ive made aren't the best but they are ok. ill bet better with practice im sure! :) life has been really good, its been busy and sadly full of junk food. Another month gone by still no baby and sadly the way i deal with that stress is not drugs and alcohol but caramels and Mountain Dew!!!!! hahah don't worry soon ill stop but its just so good right now :) no im not too down, but just with this week having my unfriendly monthly visitor come and also my brothers new baby in the same week was just a little hard to handle but im actually handling it very well i think :) i just keep myself busy and that works out good!!! So we got our first snow of the year yesterday!!!!! really? snow already.... cant we please just wait til December for that, i don't mind it being cold but please make the snow wait til December at least!!! GEEE!! well i thought i would have a lot more to post about but i actually dont, today is my day off and i wanted to catch up on my blog and catch up on reading all of yours so i decided to jump on!! im gonna post some pictures for you so you can see the things ive been making lately~!! ohhhh i also made some more cute hair flowers with Leah the other night!!! it was so much fun, we had a blast, i haven't taken any pics of those yet sadly but i will soon and ill post them on here so you can see how cute they are!!

haha yeah i took some pictures of my nails. i like them because they arent obvious and they have sparkles :)

pretty nails :D

The watch bands i made!

Watch bands with the watch face :)

Watch face with bands, and pretty nails, i feel really flashy now :)

just some thoughts

An update on work, the hard weeks are over, no more 12, 13 hour days i can finally slow down to 8 hour days and then maybe even 6. Work is going good the store has opened and the Grand opening is October the 18th, that will be a crazy day. But because i have been working so much i haven't gotten to check my blog as much as i like to, and to catch up on all of yours.

Its sad to read how many people are having the same problem we have been having, infertility.

It really is one of the hardest things i have ever had to experience.... the past 2 nights i have had baby dreams, the first i was in the hospital bed, i turned to look at my brand new baby girl in the bed next to mine, i turned away and when i looked back, it wasnt that beautiful baby girl that was once there, but a small dog...... The second dream i was in the hospital preparing to give birth, not the normal way but a dream way... i cant explain it but it was really weird, before i was going to have this baby i left the hospital to go get food, i guess while i was sleeping i was really hungry cuz i dreamed of going to get food.... hahah funny huh? Since those 2 dreams i havent had a baby related dream, but 2 in a row was strange to me. i know i comment alot on this subject and im always getting the response, "Your still young." "There is always more time" "You have only been married a year and a half." and "Dont worry your time will come"

The reason i write about infertility and my feelings on here is not to have them fixed but to help me, to feel better so i dont have all these feelings bottled up inside so that one day i just blow up and go crazy. I often talk to my husband about it but he can only take so much of it to. Its so hard on him and i see it every day.

The other night we were laying in bed talking and he stops for a minute and then says, "I really want to have kids now" not that he didnt before, but he is in the same boat as i am, tired of waiting for the possibility and then the let down of a negative test. I know he is more than ready to be a dad, and i know he is going to be an amazing one at that! its just so hard for me to see him so sad about it, we often forget how this can effect our husbands.

I must say, that working so much has helped to keep my thoughts about babies busy, and its kept me occupied. For which i am thankful. I just know that when its finally my turn and i finally get to be pregnant and hold that sweet baby of mine in my arms that i will know how hard i fought to bring this baby into the world and it will be so special to me because of the trials we had to face to bring them here to our family.

To all you mothers with children, dont for one second take that for granted you have the best gift life can bring you.

And for all you struggling with infertility, i know your pain, together we can all hang in there together and get through this!! We must stay positive and keep going with life, it doesnt stop because we fall down and skin our knee.... WE CAN DO THIS!! :) i just wanted to share those thoughts.

My sister in law, that lives next door is due any time this week, im scared of how i will feel seeing that new baby boy and how i will act. But i am also the happiest i have been in a long time knowing what a great husband i have and what a great life we have together. Life gives us trials to make us stronger, god will not give you a trial that you cannot overcome.

Sorry this is so long i just felt like i needed to write this post! i love you all!!!! :D

ughh the death of me!!!

ok so i got that job at Hobby Lobby right? So my first day was tuesday, not so bad we put up all the walls and bases of the walls and all this hard labor stuff.... not too bad i worked 11-8pm. I ended up getting Wednesday off. Then came back again Thursday 8-6. And then here comes the killer, since the store is new and opening up on the 18th of October there is TONZ of stuff to be put up in this store, if you have ever been in a Hobby Lobby, you understand how much stuff there is, TONZ!!!!! Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday and today was 12 sometimes 13 hour shifts...... and i feel like im gunna die!!!! my feet hurt so bad, and my back aches, i worked almost 70 hours in about a week...... i cant wait til i get a day off to sleep in past 6 and to just relax my body. But its getting more fun as we put all the merchandise up. I just felt like i needed to get on her and blog about it, just because i like to blog and of lately i havent had the time or energy to get on the computer and do so. Sorry this is such a boring post, hopefully fun events are close by. Oh and one little thing i want to add, my husband is the best ever, he is so sweet i leave at 6:50 am and dont get back til 7pm and poor travis walks to work, but the sweet boy cleans the house every day for me before he leaves or work so that when i get home i dont have to do anything, its so nice, i love him so much and was so lucky to find him! thats all, i just wanted to add in how awesome my husband is :D

New job!!

So its been about a year and almost a half since i've had a working job.... and ive enjoyed having all the time in the world for anything, to do anything. But i guess thats just not what fate intended for me because yesterday my mom drove by and saw that a new Hobby Lobby was opening up where Circuit City used to be on University Pkwy. She called me up and said i should go over there and apply!! So i did, it went great, they interviewed me right then and there... and that went well, then after the interview was over they handed me a small math test...... SERIOUSLY!!!! k ill be honest with you i hate math with a passion i actually havent taken math since i was a sophomore in high school cuz i had all the credits i needed to graduate without taking more math classes, so its seriously almost been 6 years since i have used math.... yeah my mind was blank, and i wasnt allowed to use a calculator. :( so i just guessed so i could get out of there, i just put down random guessed numbers and turned it in, expecting not to hear back from them. Well today, (one day later) i got a call from Hobby Lobby asking me some more questions. A few hours later they called back and said i had the job and to wait for a phone call with more details. Yay i have a job now, but the thing that sucks now is i have no idea any of the details.... :S and i hate that, it makes me a nervous wreck, i would really just like to know when i have to go in and what day and time and all that jazz... but i guess all i can do is sit and wait.

I first heard of a Hobby Lobby when i was in Arizona visiting my brother and his family, my sister-in-law took us to this store and it was amazing! it had everything! fabric, frames, pictures, beads, scrapbook stuff, home decor stuff, and even some small furniture, this is the place to go when decorating your home. Im excited to work here and put the whole store together. Wish me luck!

Hiking the Y

So earlier this week i told Trav that i would love to start running and training for a cancer run, any kind, it doesn't matter i would just like to participate in one of those, especially since the love of my life has had cancer and survived it i would like to run for him in a way.... so to start off our training, i suggested that we start with hiking the Y. It had been years since i climbed it and Travis had never done it. So it was decided, and Friday morning we found our way up to the parking right under the Y. No joke not even to the second marker of the hike (which is the very beginning, you can still see the cars) i was ready to turn around and go home, my lungs were on fire, i couldn't breath, and from what air i was getting was raspy, yes i was dying!!!!!! A year ago this month was when i had my surgery and week long hospital visit and month long sickness where i lost 20 lbs and all my hard earned dance muscle blah!.... sad to say i haven't done any kind of physical fitness to strengthen my body back up again.... i was kinda in a lul from the surgery then the miscarriage and then thinking this is the month so i dont wanna strain my body too much and have a possibility of losing another baby.... hahah yeah 9 months after losing the baby still not pregnant and still not in shape.... well that sucks... so luckily i have the most amazing husband and he forced me up the mountain.... i was kicking and screaming and wanting to give up and just go home but he wouldn't let me. He was a great drill Sargent, but actually a lot nicer than that, cuz he actually let me take as many rest stops as i needed... which sadly were A LOT :S i have never in my whole life struggled this hard with physical activity, it has inspired me to be better, so that one day i can run up that mountain and look back and laugh when i remember how hard it was at first for me to even walk up to the Y. It was great though the view was beautiful and sharing that for the first time with Travis was even better!! He is just the greatest husband and i couldn't have asked for a more perfect man in my life!!!

Of course today im feeling the hike in my legs now, but i know that its a good ache, and hope that we can be able to climb up to the Y once a week to help get me back into shape, and to run every morning too!!! i sure hope that we can keep this goal up til at least the snow comes..... snow please don't come til Christmas..... hahah anyway here are some pictures of our/my death hike.....

cute trav being so patient with me

me dying, taking a break, i look thrilled to be there huh?

yay we made it!!! trav on the Y

horray i made it.... im trying to breath... sad i know :( oh well

Happy that we made it to our destination :) alive.... i know im pathetic this hike really isnt that hard, just for me it was.... :S