sigh....

I know i told my self that i wasn't going to care any more but come on, who i was i trying to kid. Here we are again, that time of year when everyone, and i literally mean EVERYONE is pregnant. Either again or for the first time, and here i am, not even close.... i was counting the other day and came to Travis and said, "Guess what!? If im pregnant this month we should have our baby right before or on our 3rd anniversary, how awesome would that be? But if im not then we are screwed." I wont mind if when our 3rd anniversary comes up and i dont have a born baby, im just praying and pleading that by then im at least PREGNANT with a baby, or two.

This January marks the 2 year anniversary of my miscarriage. We have been trying for so long, and with no luck. Its hard to think that i could, ever become pregnant again. Most days im really good and i dont let it get to me. but on my emotional days like today, i struggle like any wanting mother would. I just pray that i learn whatever is left for me to learn through this trial so i can finally get my angel. I pray for strength and faith to carry me on until that day. I love my amazing husband Travis so much and can not imagine my life with out him in it. I also cant wait to see the day he becomes a dad, because i know that he will be the very best out there! I know it in my heart he will be the best EVER.

Other than those feelings, i started my new job today! It was great! But now i feel like my head is going to explode from memory overload, there is too much information floating around in that that i cant even make sense of. But soon enough ill get the hang of it and not come home so overwhelmed. But im excited for this new job. It will be great! Plus i get to work with my good friend Court bucket!!! :) love you girl!

Anyways.... Oh yeah also, my pug koda, is in heat.... so not fun, ive had to lock her downstairs so she doesnt keep making a mess on everything (yes i know thats disgusting, trust me i know i have to deal with it) Besides that because she is going through this i dont know why but she keeps having accidents in places she isnt supposed to. Im really getting upset with her. But i have to try and stay calm. Ha me and koda are on the same cycle, lucky us girls. That's odd... ok enough of that im done.

I LOVE MY NEW WASHER AND DRYER!!! hooray!!!