New things!

First of all, let me apologize for that depressing post. As you could have guessed, i was very emotional and the thought of being without my eternal companion for longer than a week was making me break down. But I'm good now, and all is well. We have come to a conclusion, me more than Trav that he will stay here. He has to cuz we just put an offer in on this cutie!!! (dont worry that dead tree on the right is gone :)

It is the cutest house ever!!! its old fashioned and all, what i love is its been left in its original design but updated... if that makes sense? its 2 bed 1 bath and the lot size is .25 its perfect for our first little starter home!! We put an offer in and will hear back Monday. This is NOT A SHORT SALE thank goodness so it will be so much faster. I'm so excited, i really hope we get it. Oh its in Provo on 200 S. with a police station right around the corner. We feel good about the neighborhood.

I wanted to also post my new favorite song (Dream, by Priscilla Ahn). I was watching a movie with Travis and heard this song on it and thought i HAVE to find this song. I'd heard it before but when i heard it this time i LOVED it. so here it is for you!

LISTEN TO ME NOW!!

Other than this exciting news of finding this house and waiting back to hear if we got it, nothing really exciting is going on right now. I decided to take a break from the Fertility pills (Chlomid) because i needed the break emotionally, after the first 2 months it started having an emotional effect on me, so i thought id save some money and just keep trying without the pills. If in a few months nothing is happening still, ill go back on them. I just have to trust and keep praying every night that someday soon i will be able to be pregnant with our first child. Everything is perfectly fine with both me and Travis, we have done everything to make sure of that, and the fact that i was able to get pregnant once before (1 1/2 years ago already) is proof it will happen, when its supposed to. :)

i have also set new goals! First keep looking for a job, I'd like to start running.... its good exercise and i need that, and also i would like to learn to longboard. My little brother laughed when he heard me say this. He told me i was the kind of person who if he saw riding a longboard he would want to go push them off..... rude huh? ill show him up. I just need a longboard now :)

sooo complicated....

As most of you may know Travis' dad works in Alaska at a Gold Mine for 4 weeks and then comes home for 2 weeks. Travis' older brother just got a job working up there too. Well Travis' dad just got home and said that if Travis wanted he could get him a job up there working and making A LOT more money that he is now. Right away i said no way i couldn't live without you for a whole month especially when we are trying to start our family. I said if I'm pregnant this month then no way are you going because if you are not meant to go than i would be pregnant, but if im not, than maybe you are supposed to go. Well i spoke too soon because i started Sunday (yesterday) and am yet again NOT pregnant, i don't know why i though being on fertility would help me get pregnant instantly, because its not, this is month 4 and still no baby. So we are seriously considering Alaska.... why does this suck? because i cannot go up with him, its a job where he would have to live in a man camp. So if he were to get this job i would move to California to be closer to my family but have my own place out there, yet still be close to visit my family when i get lonely, im only thinking of doing this if my little sis. Tori agrees to live with me out there so im not living alone in a house all by myself for 4 weeks at a time. This job would only be temporary to earn and save enough money so Travis could get through school without having to work. But that means possibly 2 years working in Alaska.... is it worth it? All of this news and decisions on top of my hormones is killing me, why is life so complicated, why cant we just always have the answers right in front of us, so we know what to do and why..... i feel like im making it 10x worse than what it really is, but its understandable, im very hormonal right now.... i just dont know what to do. Can someone please comfort me and tell me everything will be ok and if i move out to Cali you will all take turns coming to visit me for weeks at a time.... please!!! I dont think id have such a hard time with this Alaska stuff if i was actually able to go up with him, id leave everything behind just to go with him but instead id be the one being left behind..... ughhh what am i supposed to do....

Buca di beppo and the flower

Last night Leah, Andrew, Travis, me, Tyler, and Hailey went on a triple date up to Salt Lake where we ate at a great Italian restaurant called Buca di beppo. I'd never been there, it was sooo good!!! :) yum! then after we ate we walked to the gateway were we got to spend a few hours shopping!!!! wanna hear something funny.... this was my chance to really spend some money and get some new clothes. Guess how much i spent?..... i got 2 shirts and some china shoes (shoes they sell at Epcot china town) and only spent $20. thats it.....

We had so much fun! After dinner and the Gateway we went to Andrew and Leah's place and ended up watching the Perfect Score, its an older movie but not many of us had seen it. It was an alright movie. All in all we had a great date night with some great friends! :)

Now this flower that i have in my title, well it was a really pretty flower that Travis had picked for me up the mountain on his walk with Koda. it was really pretty, so i took a few pictures of it and put it in a glass of water where it sat untouched for a day.

Then the next day we get home and Rue is attacking something on the floor by the sink, i was afraid it was a bug the last time she was doing this was when she was playing with a stink bug that had gotten into our place. so i lean over cautiously to see what she is doing and find THIS

she had eaten my pretty flower...... eaten it, left the stem of course. I was so sad and Travis just started laughing so hard he almost had tears. I claim she was just jealous she didnt get a flower from Trav so she had to eat mine!!! :)

I also dyed my hair again, red just isnt me... i can do the black cherry but never again will i go so red. Im a dark brunette kinda gal. So i dyed my hair back to a nice dark brown, i've also been laying out getting some nice sun so i have a nice tan and with this darker hair i look even more tan, i love it!! now if only my hair would grow faster so i could put it up into a ponytail life would be so much easier!!

Travis hadn't shaved in a while and had pretty long facial hair, after about a week of me begging him to shave it, cuz he was scratching up my face he shaved an Enigo Montoya mustache.... hahah it was awesome, Trav sure does love his staches....