Saturday, April 16, 2011

Scared

So before i got married, when i was working at Goodwood BBQ everyone told me 6 months after i was married i would get pregnant, i laughed at them and said no way, i will wait at least 2 years before i get pregnant.......
Stupid me, i jinxed myself at 6 months into my marriage i wanted to be pregnant, now i am coming up on our 2 year anniversary and still not pregnant.....at least that we know of....
Next week i get to take the dreaded pregnancy test and I'm so scared that it will say NOT PREGNANT all over again, as if i haven't seen that plenty.
I'm scared because early in my cycle i started cramping, which could be a good sign of pregnancy, i started feeling tired physically and emotionally a lot the last 2 days and my stomach has been feeling a little weird, kinda like sour and yesterday i was feeling a little nauseous, I'm worried that I'm psyching myself out!!! i do it every month too! i just really want this month to be the winner!! so that after 21 months of trying for a baby, and 15 months after my miscarriage i can finally be pregnant like i have wanted to for so long!!! everyone cross your fingers for me please!!! I think this is the most scared I've been to take a pregnancy test ever!!!!!!

I had 3 different dreams the other night and all of them had a baby in it.
The first one was a little disturbing i woke up with my heart pounding and was afraid to go back to sleep, the baby was killing people with knives. don't ask....
Second dream i was having an ultra sound and there was a baby inside me! :)
Third dream, i was giving birth to a baby.....

and then the next night i dreamed i started......
so ya... i have no idea.... :(
but of course i will let you know the results regardless of a happy or sad outcome.




1 comment:

  1. We hope the best for you two. You will be in our thoughts and prayers.

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