The last one....

I am now the last one of all the people i knew struggling with infertility problems to be pregnant.... and it sucks! To be the last one, to feel all alone, is not the best feeling in the world. Don't get me wrong i am so SO happy and thrilled for those who struggled and can finally take a breath and enjoy the sunshine after their tough storm. Congrats to everyone who was struggling and is now pregnant! i envy you!!! I really do... i want to be throwing my guts up, i wanna be stuck in bed feeling like crap for 9 months if it means i get to be pregnant.... i want it that bad. It will be a year on Jan 13 that i lost the baby.... and i cant believe its been that long and still no luck. I called yesterday to my OB/GYN and scheduled an appointment at the hospital to get that test done on Wednesday morning. The one where they go in and fill the tubes ( or tube in my case) with a florescent colored fluid and take an ultra sound to see and made sure that my fallopian tube is open, and not shut( at least i think that's what they do, I'm not quite sure on the details yet, i just know its a step closer to a baby!). Maybe after this test i will finally be able to figure out the delay. Almost one year since the miscarriage, and almost a year and a half since we started trying to expand our family. Will the pain ever end? will i finally catch a break? This is my life right now and I'm not wasting it by sitting around being sorry for myself because I'm not pregnant, in no way am i doing that, it just feels nice to write my feelings and frustrations out, so that maybe anyone else going through the same thing doesn't feel alone, i know i found a lot of you that had some of the same struggles i did... and lucky you, all that i know of you are now expecting babies :) I am desperately hoping to someday soon join you girls! So good luck ladies i wish you all the best and am excited to hear about your progress in your pregnancies!! I'll keep updated on what i find out tomorrow from the test.

Ps. i changed my blog backround again... what do you think? is it a keeper? :)

Just another post

To start off, let me just say that i love my family!! All of them! Thanksgiving was great, it was hosted by my grandpa and grandma de Hoyos this year because my moms kitchen is currently in construction.... its crazy. Thanksgiving morning we started up the morning for our yearly tradition, cutting down our Christmas tree on thanksgiving and bringing it home.... well this year thats not really how it played out. There was so much snow up in the mountains that Trav and i got stuck in the snow, even with the four wheel drive and dragging a trailer to kinda help us out the sun was out to get us and we drove right into a big pile of snow off the side of the road... haha no worries we had plenty of big strong men there to help us out. After we finally got the car out and made a nice snow packed parking space we just got out and played around on the snowmobile Trav had borrowed from his dad and played around on that. My brother and his brother-in-law had brought their snowboards and my parents brought sleds. The temp. that morning up in the mountains was -13 degrees.... it was FREEZING and going fast on that snowmobile didnt make it any warmer. But man what a blast it was riding on that thing! There was a road going up by where we parked so we would use the snowmobile to drag sledders or snowboarders up and let the snowboarders off to ride down, while dragging the sledders down behind the snowmobile, it was lots of fun.

Trav pulling Dylan
Tori not ready to com out into the cold..
getting all bundled up

Aww mom and dad, (Nana and Pa)

Tori, me, and trav, the dork not looking at the camera, going on a snowmobile ride!! brrrr ( the helmet was amazing, i didnt feel ANY wind on my face!!)

Sadly because we got stuck so far down we didnt make it to any place close of having Christmas trees. :( So we left without one, and are trying to decide now if we want a fake one, or go back up and try to cut one down.... im opting for the fake tree....

Trav taking Marisa and Cassie on a ride while pulling Nick and Tc on snowboards behind

Marisa wearing the helmet haha

Cassie, Marisa, Travis

There are so many things that i am grateful for that to list them all on this post would take far too long. I am just so grateful for all that i have and all that i have learned and gone through in my almost 21 years of life... :) I have learned lots and keep learning everyday. I know that there is a special plan for all of us and that everything happens for a specific reason, and that we may never really know that reason.... oh how i wish that the right time would be my time.... i still long to get pregnant. And this month i am actually going to go to the hospital and finally have that test done on my tube to make sure its not closed off... then hopefully we can progress in the direction of me having a baby.... i just cant wait for it to happen anymore, it almost been a year since the miscarriage and i dont wanna just sit back and wait any longer, i want that blessing of parenthood.

But as for right now i am grateful for how much time me and Travis get to share with each other, we have such a great relationship, and marriage because of how close we are and that comes with how much time we get to be with each other to enjoy one another and just have fun with life. And i am so very grateful to have him right beside me to go through all our struggles together. November is the month of being thankful and realizing what your thankful for, Travis was born in November, and i couldn't be thankful for anything more than Travis!! :D i love you so much babe!!!

On another note, i am very happy to be decorating and preparing for Christmas this year!!! However, i am NOT a fan of black Friday, or working on black Friday.... i surely do not like the big crazy crowds, its not worth it to me.... i cant believe Christmas is almost here already!!! Also im turning 21 in December!!!!! how crazy is that!? :) i love it! Now, what do i get Travis for Christmas....? Does anyone have ANY good ideas on gifts for husbands.... they are so difficult to shop for. Or is that just me?

New Hair!!! :D

I finally got my hair colored today!!!! YAY!!!! My hair had started to fade to an orange color and i was not liking it, i like the dark hair.

So today Trav was going to UVU to work out some things with school and i had my lovely mother color my hair for me! And i L.O.V.E the way it turned out!!! :) i chose a medium brown and mixed it with a color called black cherry!! The black cherry is a black color with the tint of purplish red to it, put it together and what do you get, bibbity bobbity boo... jk i think it turned out great! Anyways we had to hurry and do that this morning cuz i had to be to work at 12 today, so i drop trav off at work and headed to hobby lobby, well today is our freight day so when i walked in to see no boxes i was a little confused, as i went to clock in they were having a meeting with the manager. Here is what happened. Our trucks hadn't come due to some construction on I90 i think, that or it was closed down, and the truck wasn't going to get here until tonight, so they sent me home, saweet!! :) except for now my new fabulous hair is pinned up in a bun and i dont feel like taking the time to do it today, so i dont have any good pics of it, but i will post pictures of my hair down when i actually style it nice. haha

Its funny how dying your hair just makes you feel so good! Well i dunno about you but it sure does make me feel good!

Also, if you have not smelled the SJP NYC perfume it is to die for!!! In my opinion of course. i absolutely LOVE the stuff!!! So i am going to buy it tomorrow for my birthday! :) im so excited, it smells SOOOOO good!

before, with my orangish hair... this isnt a very good pic.

After, with my new color, this is a terrible pic for seeing the color i promise ill put a better one up later.

Also hair styles i miss, that i once had...

I miss my long long hair!!

I miss my awesome purple!!

Bad weather!

BBRRRRR on this cold rainy, windy, dreary day i am so very thankful for

-Warm soup

-Big Blankets

-Fuzzy socks

-A Cuddly warm husband

-Movies

-A roof over our heads to keep us dry and warm

-And string cheese and goldfish!! :)

I dont mind the weather we are having right now, because there isnt any actual snow, and im happy about that, give me freezing winds and cold showers as long as the snow holds off just a little longer :)

Trav came home the other day with a cold, :S you know what that means, yup, you got it, or actually i got it! :) ha i now have a cold. I thought for sure i was gunna win out and skip getting his cold i was taking vitamins, drinking emergen-C keeping bundled up and staying warm. But i guess when your husband drinks out of milk cartons and juice bottles when he is sick, there really isn't anything you can do, right!! His excuse and defence about that is "Sorry, I forgot i was sick!" ahah really!? Boys that's all i gotta say! Anyway I'm just glad its a little sniffle and nothing too bad, colds are the worst, so I'm just gunna tackle this thing while its young so it doesn't get any worse than the sniffles :) Stay healthy everyone

horray for a 4 day weekend!!!!

Man i am so happy that i get to have a 4 day weekend!!

i got the weekend off because Travis' brother is getting married Friday in Tooele. So it was a pretty good excuse for me to get Thursday Friday and Saturday off of work! :) not that i dont love work, but having 3 full days off with Trav will be so nice!! Work at the Hobby Lobby has been really good i like it alot! I love the girls that i work with too and management is great! I couldn't have asked for a better job for me at this time in my life than this one! :) I was lucky!

I was thinking that since its November and alot of people are doing the thankful blog challenge that i would just kinda randomly do it and write what is on my mind while im blogging that im thankful for!:) So for today i am thankful for,

-Mountain Dew

- Our jobs at RC Willey and Hobby Lobby

-Mambas

-Sweat pants

- Hot showers

-And of course Travis my love!! :D

-Cup Cakes

-Our King sized bed

As you might be able to tell i am hungry and tired :) so i think that after 10 hours at work today i am going to get a snack and go to bed :)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TRAVIS!!!

Yesterday was my amazing husbands 23rd birthday! i dunno why i was so excited for it but i was, i went out and bought streamers and balloons so i could decorate our living room for him, i even bought him a Birthday Boy pin from work! hahah just to embarrass him a little. :) Trav was supposed to work Thursday but he didnt feel like going in on his birthday and just used vacation time instead, which left me with NO TIME TO DECORATE! i had to think quick, so while he was sleeping that morning i got up early told him he couldn't get up till i came and got him and went and decorated our living room. hahah it was fun he tried to come out of the bedroom to go pee and i got mad at him cuz i didnt want him to see any of the decorations i was putting up, so he went back into the room and grabbed the ipod and started playing games on it, this is how i found him when i went to tell him he could go pee...

after that i had him put on his birthday boy pin and then i let him go downstairs :)

so after opening some of the little gifts i got him we went over to my moms house so she could give him his present from her and my dad, which was a rotating wall mount! he loved it he was so excited we went home and he put it up right away!!

:)

Then after he had put up his mount we went birthday shopping for a few bigger presents. So he could get a few things that he really wanted.

We went to Fanzz in the mall, ( he loves that store) and got him some jay hawk shorts and a Cincinnati Bangles shirt! he loves the bangles... he has just liked them as a kid and hasnt changed his team. Then after going to Fanzz we went to Finish line where he got his favorite shoes, Nike airs. They are the most comfy shoes ive ever worn, and trav loves them, he has a black pair and now we got him a blue pair of shoes. ahah silly boy.

After we shopped around for a while we went and visited my family again so trav could ask my little brother about some ipod stuff. After we left there we went to Ruby River for his birthday dinner!!!!!! YUM!!! i love that place it was so good!!!

I had a great night with Trav on his birthday and i sure hope that he did too! i love you babe, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! :)