I am now the last one of all the people i knew struggling with infertility problems to be pregnant.... and it sucks! To be the last one, to feel all alone, is not the best feeling in the world. Don't get me wrong i am so SO happy and thrilled for those who struggled and can finally take a breath and enjoy the sunshine after their tough storm. Congrats to everyone who was struggling and is now pregnant! i envy you!!! I really do... i want to be throwing my guts up, i wanna be stuck in bed feeling like crap for 9 months if it means i get to be pregnant.... i want it that bad. It will be a year on Jan 13 that i lost the baby.... and i cant believe its been that long and still no luck. I called yesterday to my OB/GYN and scheduled an appointment at the hospital to get that test done on Wednesday morning. The one where they go in and fill the tubes ( or tube in my case) with a florescent colored fluid and take an ultra sound to see and made sure that my fallopian tube is open, and not shut( at least i think that's what they do, I'm not quite sure on the details yet, i just know its a step closer to a baby!). Maybe after this test i will finally be able to figure out the delay. Almost one year since the miscarriage, and almost a year and a half since we started trying to expand our family. Will the pain ever end? will i finally catch a break? This is my life right now and I'm not wasting it by sitting around being sorry for myself because I'm not pregnant, in no way am i doing that, it just feels nice to write my feelings and frustrations out, so that maybe anyone else going through the same thing doesn't feel alone, i know i found a lot of you that had some of the same struggles i did... and lucky you, all that i know of you are now expecting babies :) I am desperately hoping to someday soon join you girls! So good luck ladies i wish you all the best and am excited to hear about your progress in your pregnancies!! I'll keep updated on what i find out tomorrow from the test.
Ps. i changed my blog backround again... what do you think? is it a keeper? :)